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Surprise for Jamie

This year, I jazzed up our Goodwill receipts for Jamie. After each visit to Goodwill, I would slink up to our school room and stealthily fill out our donation receipt. I knew Jamie would eventually find my short stories during tax season. Well, he found them, and he ran through an array of emotions. He first started with anger (since he was doing our taxes), then he quickly moved on to frustration, bewilderment and finally settled on amusement.



The Carson's 2019 Goodwill tax receipts:


5/3/19

Today I donated various household items. For example, I donated an iron. It was a great iron, but it was really heavy. I got a new one at The Walmart, and it is great because it is much lighter. I used it yesterday when I was ironing my son's pants. He does not like it when I put a crease down the center of the pants. I also donated pots and pans. You can never have enough pots and pans. Well, I guess that is a lie since I just donated my Caphlon pots and pans. Have you tried Caphlon? I prefer using cast iron.


5/23/19

This afternoon we donated an Adult Bike. It was gray and had 2 skinny wheels. There was a seat, not a banana seat but a seat a bit smaller. Not as comfortable as a banana seat. The bike had 2 pedals. The bike also had handlebars—funny story about handlebars. My husband has flown over his handlebars on several occasions. I witnessed it once. I nearly peed my pants laughing. Just so you know, he does not have a handlebar mustache. The bike also has brakes. They are on the handles, not on the pedals. Please make sure the new owner knows there are no brakes on the pedals. Finally, this bike has gears.


5/30/19

Today was a good day. I did a little house cleaning. Afterwards, I went by McDonald's and ordered a diet coke. I like diet coke. I did not order anything else there because I am a vegan. So I could not eat a hamburger, fish, french fries, or chicken. After McDonald's I donated Women's and Children's clothing. The women's clothing was quite fashionable. I had to donate them because they were too big. Recently I lost weight. I wore a size 4, but now I am a 0. I donated a jacket I really liked. It was dark blue and fit above the hips. I also donated my daughter's clothes. She did not lose weight. In fact, I think she gained weight this year. I donated her clothes because she got taller.


6/30/19

Today was pleasant outside. You know where it is not too hot and not too cold. I had a little spare time between errands, so I decided to donate items that I collected this week around the house. I mainly donated my Children's clothing. Mostly the clothes belonged to my son...But let me ask you.. Did he own them, and did he just borrow them? I bought them. My husband and I are the ones with the jobs. He doesn't have a job. So I think the clothes were just on "loan" to him. My son's name is Josh. Josh really liked these clothes. He is a bit of a label snob. He really likes Hollister. So all the clothes came from Hollister. We had to donate them because he is growing so fast. In 1 year, he grew 5 inches. Can you believe that? I don't really like Hollister clothes because they fade very quickly. But again, Josh likes them.


7/2/19

Black kitchen table. Small dinette that seats 4. It could be used in a bistro or even a family kitchen. Will work well for

· 4 humans or

· 3 humans and 1 cat or

· 2 humans, 1 cat, 1 dog.


Never should 4 dogs playing poker sit at this table. My grandmother, God rest her soul, would have a fit if she saw 4 dogs playing poker at this table. She was not afraid of dogs, but she was afraid of poker. Once as a showgirl in Vegas, a blackjack dealer slapped her across her face, and she could never play poker again without breaking into a heavy gross sweat. It was very sad.


7/12/19

On a hot and humid day in July, I donated an elliptical. The elliptical is a few inches taller than I. It stands at around 5'4", it is silver, with black and red stickers. I do not recall what the stickers say because I never had my glasses on when I walked by or stood on the elliptical. There is a substantial cup holder. I like to put bottled water in the cupholder when I am using the apparatus. The elliptical is electric (You must plug it into work). There are a variety of levels. For example, you can pretend you are doing hills. There are also different levels. I am a bit of a wimp, so I keep the difficulty low. Once I saw my husband on the machine. He had it at a very challenging level. He got sweaty and gross, and he made a lot of noises while elliptisizing (i just made up that word). Sometimes I would watch TV while I used it. We had to get rid of it because it hindered my pool playing.


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